Today is my first day really diving into HTML coding and the old internet revival! My relationship with social media is extremely out of balance, so I'm really excited by an algorithm-free opportunity to connect with others. I recently quit my job - which is something I never do, so I've been sitting with myself and recognizing that my goals are shifting.

I always dreamed of finally figuring out a way to make that perfect piece of "content" that will allow my band to gain virality and allow us to pursue music full time, but I'm realizing more and more that I simply don't have the personality for that. I despise short-form content so much; I love stop-motion, claymation, paper mache, puppets, and other wacky hobbies that are slow.

Because I've been chasing an insanely capitalistic workflow, I'm looking forward to using this time to be more intentional with my hobbies. I'm trying to visit the library and read more, make more hand crafts, learn HTML code, and learn new languages. I'd also love to keep considering the prospect of going back to school for audio engineering.

I get frustrated when I'm not good at things right away, but I certainly have more of a knack for HTML than I thought I would. I'm excited to begin to actually understand how the coding language works, rather than just copying and pasting other people's code snippits.

I've been living a very anti-digital life these last few weeks, and I'm really proud of myself for that. I have struggled so much with social media addiction - being a musician who has to promote their own shows takes a toll. I've accepted that maybe I don't want to be quite known anyway- I would like to have an essence of mystery. I've been stretching out my hip flexors as the fan in our bedroom rustles the sheets against my skin. I'm wearing my ugly 2003/Gilmore Girls/Nora Jones/Global Village Coffeehouse bullshit pants and realizing that I'm 26 - I pay my bills, re-pot the giant plants in my house, get angry when the fridge isn't organized, and complain when old people stand in my way at the thrift store.

But despite that, I know that there's so much ahead for me, and I believe in some semblance of a domestic future. It's amazing to see people 10 years older than me who participate in lolita fashion, code their cute little blogs, and work at coffee shops! Life is really not that serious, and young hearts shine through. Tomorrow I have a job interview at a dispensary, and I'm excited to return to some sense of normalcy. I've been spending a little too much time hyperfixated on building my website -- in similar ways to how I locked in on building my Tomadochi island. I should really focus back in on listening to/discovering new music, learning new covers to steal chord voicings from, and just trying my own strange chords. I've been a little lacking when it comes to my writing practice - it's good that I've been giving myself time for my other hobbies and passions, but it's time to get back in the saddle again.

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